Experience Tutors

Despite of the domination of my sixth sense and imaginary world,

I believe experiences are the best tutors.

This means you'll never know til you try and experience it,

what will happen next and even about yourself.

 

I've been taking MIDI classes for almost 9 months from 2 different tutors,

unfortunately, I don't think I've reached some level.

I couldn't push the envelope.

It's not a matter of WHO teaches me MIDI classes.

Me not reaching some level is not their fault.

It's more like a matter of HOW MUCH you try and put your energy in it.

It was me. It was my fault and I'm aware of it. I accept the fact.

I thought I really want it but I've lost enthusiasm and fire once I decided to begin.

I was just focusing on "experiencing" it than "trying hard"

 

Let me bring you as you were around 20, 21.

Once you've done your military service,

you were gonna challenge a lot.

However, somehow you chose to be settling down

and flew to Australia for internship.

Guess you were scared of challenging on your own

so you just let it happen and I understand it.

And think back when you quit last year.

You were like

"I can't do 2 things at the same time! Once I quit, I'm gonna do this, do that!"

Technically, you've "tried" but there should've been more than that.

You unconsciously wanted some lucky chance comes right in your mouth,

even if you didn't try hard on throwing a fishing rod.

 

No need to blame myself.

But I HAVE TO learn about myself from these experiences

that I don't like risky environments. I don't want to jeopardize myself.

My career, financial things... and everything.

Let's just face it. I kind of hope there would a luck

but I don't wanna make myself dangerous.

I want freedom however, I want it to be safe.

 

The company that I had interviewed called me.

It might be an alarm that it's really the time to see the reality.

I wish this world is like a heaven

Sadly, I'm living in reality.

Optimists might say life is worth to live once,

pessimist would say life is not that beautiful.

They're both right. They just have different perspectives.

It's beautiful but tough.

 

I really wanna say to myself tho.

It's okay to have fails.

Don't stop challenging. Just go on.

Sometimes, you'll fall from obstacles on your way.

But, you'll also learn from the experience.

Just experience it. Face it.