Burden : Avoidant disorder

I believe that everybody has their own burdens on their shoulders.

It can be big or small but not comparable from each others'.

Cuz it's more like a relative concept.

Like if something feels like crums for me, it could be like rocks for ants.

So I try not to be judgemental on someone else's burden and pain.

If someone says like "Oh I've got a paper cut and it's killing me!"

I try not to judge and say like "C'mon! it's just a paper cut! Shack it off"

We all have own pain, pressure, worries and burdens.

 

 

My burdens? I've got many of 'em.

And 'Avoidant disorder' is one of my biggest burdens

which weigh heavily on my heart and shoulders.

To be honest it's driving me crazy.

 

After thinking somthing over for a long time,

I make a decision in an instant to stop doing it

compared to the amount of time I've spent on 'considering'

I procrastinate til the very last moment I have to.

I'm very conscious about my reputation and evaluation towards me.

So I just run away from the situations making me uncomforable.

How bad is this?

 

Myself in my ideal world, I'm a quite different guy

who is extrovert, very outgoing, challengable, patient, assure.

In real world? I'm nothing but a coword. What more can I say?

I easily flip out and run away from challenges

which is one of my hatest things about myself :(

 

I know I have to be the one who loves myself the most

and tries to find the best qualities about me.

But I really want myself changed into THE ideal guy in my head

who never runs away from obstacles and unplesant feelings!

 

I decided to do more challenge. I quit the salary job for A reason.

Get some part time jobs and work on what I wanted to do.

Remember, Easy and safe way is never gonna be the easy and safe way.

 

I'm freaking scared of it.

I know how I feel but DO NOT escape!

Just put on and fasten your shoes and go outside.

Have some fresh air and have a look outside

how wonderful this world is,

how beautiful my life is!

Stucking in my room and worrying about my life

won't change my life.

 

Wanna change my life?

Then, I MUST change HOW I think, WHAT I do.

Grab some positivity and enthusiasm.

Just move and act more.

Please.. PLEASE!